How age shapes conversations about loneliness

Research shows that younger generations tend to speak more openly about loneliness and mental health, often benefiting from greater encouragement to express their feelings and seek support. In contrast, for many older people, opening up about these experiences can be much harder.

For some individuals, finding the words to talk about loneliness can be challenging due to factors such as cultural expectations, limited exposure to conversations about loneliness, or longstanding personal habits. Many grew up during times when loneliness was not widely discussed or understood, and emotional struggles were often seen as private matters. As a result, stigma surrounding loneliness has persisted, making it harder for some people to feel comfortable opening up about their experiences.

In 2024, we ran a short study with our Older Persons’ Advisory Group to explore how lonely and socially isolated older people defined their identity. Most of the respondents highlighted their age, while only a few mentioned their health. This suggests that loneliness shaped how they related to Re-engage, but it didn’t play a defining role in how they talked about their own identity.

Age is a highly visible part of identity, and older people often see health and loneliness as things that happen to them rather than as central to who they are. Age can also shape how comfortable they feel talking about loneliness, making some more open and others more hesitant.

How older people seek support and the importance of trusted relationships

Generational attitudes toward loneliness can shape how people seek support. Research shows older adults are generally open to getting help but they’re more likely to turn to their GP than to mental health specialists.

Research also shows that a trusted support network is vital when it comes to encouraging older people to talk about loneliness. As people age, their social circles shrink, especially with the loss of parental or family support. This often leaves older people feeling isolated and less hopeful about improving their situation.

Talking about loneliness can help people make sense of their emotions and feel more in control. Researchers suggest that even one trusted relationship can make a big difference.

A story of connection

Call Companions Rosemary and Rohan are a brilliant example of this. Rosemary has lived at home alone since her husband died 10 years ago, and although she has a devoted family she sometimes feels alone and isolated.

Rosemary said that her calls with volunteer Rohan have given her a new lease of life, they are “so uplifting, I really look forward to it.” When asked what they talk about Rosemary said “that’s difficult” – not because they have nothing to talk about but because they have everything to talk about “when you speak to someone like Rohan over a length of time… although you can talk to your family and friends sometimes it’s nice to have someone not connected to talk to… we just talk about anything and everything”.
 
Rosemary explained the importance of having that reliable weekly contact - “It’s something to look forward to, and it just lifts you… he cheers you up and gives you confidence.”

But it’s not just our older people who are benefitting from the contact - Rohan spoke about how important the calls are to him as well: “It’s something to look forward to every week.” To see the joy of Rohan and Rosemary’s friendship watch the story featured on Good Morning Britain.

Supporting professionals

By encouraging open dialogue and training professionals to gently start these conversations, we can make conversations easier and more meaningful.

Researchers found that 86% of professionals reported broaching the topic of loneliness with clients was challenging. Implementing formal training to alleviate this hesitation may help build the opportunity and trusted relationship that their client needs to openly discuss their experiences.

If you are interested in exploring our understanding loneliness training for professionals, you can find further information via the professional services webpage.

In summary…

Older people often face unique challenges when it comes to talking about loneliness. Many grew up during times when these subjects were considered taboo, with little access to information or communities that promoted open dialogue.

As a result, older people are less likely to share their experiences compared to younger generations. But change is possible. By creating safe spaces, offering support, and continuing to talk about loneliness and isolation openly, we can help break down these barriers.

If you would like to join us on our mission to end social isolation and loneliness for people aged 75 and over, check out our volunteer vacancies or contact us.