Call companion training

Training 3: Building relationships

Establishing trust 

It is essential that you don’t forget or miss making your calls at the agreed time. If you are unable to make your call then please make sure you let the older person know in plenty of time and call to inform Re-engage, between 9am and 5pm, on weekdays. The single biggest thing you can do to establish trust in your call companion relationship is to call when you say you will. If there is ever any reason you need to change the time of the call, make sure you let the older person know in plenty of time and agree another time to talk.  

It is important that the older person feels safe and able to talk to their call companion about their problems or about anything that’s troubling them. Remember that this is a relationship of equals. Respecting and appreciating the older person as an individual with their own opinions and values which don’t need to match your own will go a long way to establishing trust between you. Make sure you allow the older person to express themselves and make choices wherever possible – ask the older person what they want to get from the call companion relationship. 

Befriending an older person using the phone can be more challenging than face to face because you lose out on body language and facial expressions. However, the communication skills we looked at in Training 2 are crucial tools that can be extremely useful in building this trust, by conveying empathy, and making the older person feel they are being truly listened to.

Active listening is really important here, as well as being aware of the obstacles to listening we looked at in the introduction training. Being able to give your full focus and attention to the conversation every time will build the relationship and the trust between you and the older person.  

Don’t take notes during the call, since it will stop you properly listening and focusing on the conversation, but after the call you may want to take note of a couple of points that were covered, to help you remember and be able to revisit in the next call. You could take note of the names of family members too for example. This helps you know who the older person is talking about next time, or you could refer to people by name in the next conversation, showing you were paying attention.  

Building trust can take time so try not to feel a need to rush this aspect of your relationship with the older person. 

Encouraging participation 

When the older person was referred to the call companion service, they will most likely have provided information about what they want to talk to their volunteer about, which you will be made aware of. You can keep a note of these things by the phone while you’re chatting to help you come up with ideas of what to talk about if you get stuck.

During the calls you can focus on what they are doing around mealtimes for example, what TV they are watching, who they are connecting with, what they will be doing when the call ends, for example having a cup of tea. Help them to consider their surroundings including the weather or pets, flowers, or birds in the garden. Use your active listening skills to come up with questions that do not require a yes or no, which encourage the older person to play a full part in the conversation. 

COVID-19 

Make sure at some point in the call you check in with the older person about how they are coping during the pandemic, both practically – do they have enough supplies, are they keeping well – and emotionally – how are they feeling with social distancing? Is someone checking up on them – a family member or neighbour for example?  

If the older person asks a question you don’t know the answer to or is looking for information you’re not aware of, do admit that you don’t know, but that you can look into it and get back to them. If you are doing this, only take information from reliable sources such as Public Health England, NHS Scotland or visit our COVID 19 update page or our COVID 19 FAQs.

Meaningful connections and sharing experiences 

It can sometimes be easy to forget how important it is to just relax and enjoy each other’s company during these calls, to just have a good time chatting to one another. Remember too that the older person is most likely as new to this as you are.  

You could read the same book in your spare time or agree to watch the same TV show during the week and discuss on your calls or listen to the same radio programme. You could do a crossword together over the phone or share recipes or cooking tips. The important thing in trying any of these new things together is that the older person has agreed and seems enthusiastic about them so make sure you have discussed it beforehand and they are keen to try new things. 

Self-reflection 

Before moving on to the next training, think of potential ideas for subjects to discuss or things to do together during your conversations with an older person, always on the understanding that you will discuss with the older person first and only go ahead with the things they are enthusiastic about.